Sunday, 13 August 2017

Who's Pan?

I’ve been inserting this name for a few times in my blog and his full name is Peter Pan. Nope, he’s a guy named after Peter Pan. Yes, that Peter Pan who never lands, lol. He’s not the real Peter Pan because he doesn’t have Tinker Bell by his side, well at least that’s what I’m hoping for, duh! I self-proclaim myself as Wendy in this context because I like blue dress and I love love love kids! I love telling stories too! And my Pan, he loves to listen to my stories. When he starts telling stories, they truly sound like bedtime stories haha I mean, they’re very entertaining but too bad as they usually come after my stories, and I already got tired of talking lol.

Unlike the fairytale of Pan who never wanted to grow up, this Pan grows up and older. I’m thankful for that! He’s brave enough to meet my parents and grandparents even without my presence. He has bigger hopes and dreams, because he truly acknowledges the demanding Wendy and  he has to put up with my needs and wantsssssss. Did I tell you that he (and Mimi) granted my wish to meet Fattah Amin????

me featuring FATTAH AMIN!

Pan granting another wish of mine (dUCk hehehehhehe)

He has high level of tolerance, he doesn’t necessarily agree with me all the time, but he has his way of telling me that I did something wrong without making me feel bad. He feels bad about it all the time, lol. I’m sorry :P The truest definition of complicated woman is me. Because I don’t have my mind straight. At times I don’t know what I want exactly at that point of time. And at one point, I really know what I want but what I want is extremely impossible to get/achieve at that particular time. A friend used to wonder who would dare to be my boyfriend because I’m that kind of girl (very hard to deal with). Then, Pan came into the picture and all my friends are amazed by his magic touch (oh well, he touches my heart :P). 

My parents have given him the green light, my grandparents have told me to stay loyal. My best friends told me that he’s a good choice of boyfriend (not that I have choices, lol) and my best friend’s mom has warned him to take a great care of me *blow my nails*.

As for now, I thank God for his existence and I hope God will lend me one of His wonderful creations for a longer time, long enough till we have great grandchildren :) 

Who’s Pan? He’s that one special person that’s so close to my heart. He’s the love of my life and I hope there’s no other person that could replace his place. 

What do I think of girl having guy best friend?

I know a lot of girl friends with guy best friends. I think it’s possible. A girl once fell for her best friend, they broke up but they still remain best friends after the period of mending the broken hearts haha. A friend of mine has a guy friend but the guy used to like her, and she confronted him, they drew the line and they remain best friends. Another friend already has a 5-year friendship with a guy, very close buddies and no ‘more than best friends’ intention arises. I think it’s possible for a girl to have a guy best friend even if the girl already has a boyfriend and same goes to the girl. You can keep being best friends as long as one person doesn’t cross the line and protect the friendship that you have. ( Some dramas might happen, but you just gotta enjoy the fun part of the dramas! :P)

As for me, my boyfriend will be my best friend, future life partner and he needs to listen to me nagging all the time haha because I prefer it that way :)

How do you wish to inspire people now and in the future?

YTN camp is an eye-opening experience for me. The camp was organized at Hotel Sri Malaysia, Bagan Lalang for 5 days and 4 nights. The activities were mainly the outdoor ones. A day before the camp, I caught a cold and it was so bad that I had to go to the clinic for doctor’s advice. Most of the time, I was being the doctor, taking paracetamol like I know the right dose, lol. But this time, I just couldn’t stand it anymore.

So, while at the camp, I needed to inform YTN officers and the facilitators about my condition. I had fever and I told them about me having asthma. 
Well, I didn’t get any privilege lol I didn’t want to, ofc cause outdoor activities can be fun! But my health constraints could be dangerous. When I was in Banting, my asthma was severe, maybe it was because of the air condition. 

Back to my YTN story, I was inspired by one of TNB VPs, Dato’ Roslina binti Zainal. Her speech inspired, and still inspires me to study well, graduate as an engineer, come back and serve the nation. I also learned that we will be the best version of ourselves when we’re not in our comfort zone. 

I remembered the very first YTN camp at PD, the camp which made me feel intimidated because I knew no one there. But the last YTN, which was the final camp that I attended before I graduate made me realize that those people that I spent my time with will be my colleagues, will be my future TNB family. They’re my networkings, my friends and together we might be the leaders of TNB in the future.

I wish to inspire people, especially girls that we too can become engineers of big companies. Kak Long, Shen Mi and Michelle are the three girls that I respect and appreciate while at the camp. I wasn’t feeling well and they took care of me like I was their own sisters. And I hope this relationship will last till the end. 

In the future, I hope I can be one of the TNB leaders that can come back to YTN camp and inspire them with my story. I may not be the best person to advice people, but I hope my story can help changing someone in becoming a better person.

I think I can be an introvert and extrovert, depends on the situation I’m going through. I realize that now I’m in my comfort zone, I haven’t pushed myself to the limit, I’m too scared to try something new. 

Since after the camp, I must have deep thoughts on something new that I want to do, to change myself, to be out of my comfort zones.

As for now, I’m trying to stay fit and healthy. I’m doing 30 minutes of exercises every day, and we’ll see how could that improve my IQ and EQ lol.

Friday, 21 July 2017

Why Fattah Amin?

This is so funny, cause I never liked any Malay celebrity before. Well, in my entire life I fancy less than 5 male celebrities. My first celebrity crush was Skandar Keynes, from The Chronicles of Narnia. I used to send postcard to him and I received a postcard with his signature and I forgot where I placed it hahah! 

Next, I had a crush on Shahid Kapoor, I watched his movie, Milenge Milenge, everyday for 30 days and I never missed a single day of that lol! 

Last year, I had major crush on Siddharth Malhotra and I’ve watched every of his movie. So, basically watching every movie by that one specific actor is considered as having celebrity crush on him because I am not a movie fan, lol!

Ask me the name of any good movies, I can tell you none. My general knowledge on movie is very, very limited. I prefer reading books than watching movies. Movie date is not the best idea, pity Pan for this side of me.

So Fattah Amin happens to be another male celebrity that I like and believe me, I started to watch his drama when he acted with Fazura because my all time favourite actress is always Fazura #fattzura! So, that’s how I like Fattah Amin.

I know many people hate him, dislike his willingness to try everything he wants, from being an actor, to a singer, then a book writer, to an entrepreneur and a brand ambassador. But I admire his attitude for keeping silence when people throw him hatred words, I salute him for letting his success speaks louder than his words. I admire how he prioritizes  his family and he’s too the first child in the family.

I have a thing on successful first child, because I am the first child, grandchild too. I know the pressure of being someone that your siblings should look up to, the responsibility to take care of the family, the reputation etc. Fattah and I, we’re not in the same journey but I guess we both have the same goal for our families.

That’s why I like Fattah Amin, as a celebrity.

It’s true, there’re many other celebrities out there that maybe have to go through tougher hardships compared to Fattah, but I guess for now, his story catches my attention more.

Why am I scared to confront people?

I received this question prior to my blog post yesterday. Well, haha  I’ve made a promise to answer everyone honestly, so I will.
In high school days, I called people confrontation as having a heart-to-heart talk. My batch mates usually would have this conversation whenever there’s misunderstanding or argument within a small group. My debate family used to have this kind of conversation too!

This conversation is indeed very important to solve internal problems and it will keep the relationship healthy. 

But I still do not like this conversation.

If I were not satisfied with someone, I rather kept it to myself. Keeping things to myself in some ways can avoid me from hating that person. Once I’ve told another person about my feeling, I would dislike that person’s attitude even more. Thus, I prefer keeping things to myself.

But sometimes, I did tell  my parents or Pan about how I felt, I can never hide anything from them. But the story would end there. I would not hold my grudge or keep my anger for long.

But if there’s misunderstanding between me and Pan, I would confront him for sure.

When I think about this attitude of mine, it makes me know myself more.

I will confront those whom I wish to keep the relationship for a long term. If I treasure the relationship, I will devote my time, energy and tears to tell that person how I feel about certain issues and why am I sad about all these things etc.

But if the relationship acted just like another phase in my life, I would not take my anger and sadness seriously. Because these feelings shall pass.

To answer the question, I think I’m not scared to confront people, but my decision to confront people depends on how I feel about them.

Can I say ‘no’?

I surely can! However, I would try as much as I could, to help someone in need before giving up that favour. I am terrible at giving excuses, and I hate excuses. So if I can’t attend a meeting, or I really can’t help someone due to time and energy constraint, I will say no. 
Maybe you won’t hear that ‘no’ physically, but you’ll get what I mean (obviously if your common sense level is at the normal bar).

But studying abroad makes me realize that not everyone is as polite as the Malaysians are expected to be. Students of other nationalities are very outspoken, they’re very blunt in their words. So, as much as I feel saying no would appear as something rude, I need to adapt to this surrounding. Well, it hurts to have your ideas being turned down as easy as that. So, I guess it’s okay for me to put my priority straight and say no to them too!

It’s tiring to be in a one-sided relationship, where you always lower your ego, asking people to free their schedules because you want to have a cup of coffee with them, but they never try their best to spend even their 30 seconds with you.

But maybe I once did the same thing to others, now people are doing that to me. But hey, you can’t get everything you want at the same time. C’est la vie!

So, I’m saying no if I really can’t fulfill your orders, I hope you can understand me as much as I understand your excuses too :)

My Opinion on “Perempuan Belajar Tinggi-Tinggi, Akhirnya Masuk Dapur Jugak”

This statement means, regardless of your level of education, a woman will always belong to the kitchen.

Some people think this statement is so outdated as educated women now are able to hire helpers, so kitchen is never a place where they belong.

I believe that women need to be educated. Everyone has the right to get education. Education is one the mediums to gain knowledge. We must gain as much knowledge as we want. It doesn’t mean you need to get a physical certificate on something to be acknowledged as educated. Sometimes, you learn better through experience too.

Back to the statement of “women belong to the kitchen”, I never interpret it as literally cooking in the kitchen.
It can also mean, you will be a mother one day and you will prepare meals for your husband and kids etc.

Well, I don’t think hiring a helper is wrong and being a housewife after receiving PhD is never wrong too. It goes back to your personal preference.

Many successful women out there are wearing many hats at once; they're entrepreneurs by days, nurses, chefs, teachers, maids by nights. Most importantly, they're wonder women whom we called 'mom'.  

As for me, regardless of my level of education, I wish to get married, be a mom of four beautiful children, prepare meal for them and at the same time, be there whenever they need me, teach them how to read ABCs at night, take them to parks on weekend, and I  also hope I’m able to generate my own income, for me to be prepared for any uncertainties in the future.

I will belong to the kitchen, but because of the bachelor degree that I have, I will also own a house with 5 bedrooms, kitchen, laundry room, closet rooms and a basketball court, insyaAllah.

Thursday, 20 July 2017

Is glamorous life for me?

Some people aim to be famous, or well-known for certain things. In this era, people can easily gain the world's attention. If you dare to do anything, regardless of how weird those things can be, you will get all the attentions you want. I used to have long, chatty videos on my youtube channel but I stopped halfway (after being teased for what I did lol). I never intended calling myself a vlogger even though I enjoy editing videos of my trips. My number of subscribers is too small to claim myself as a youtuber. The number of my blog readers isn't great enough to call myself a blogger. 

All I know is, glamorous life isn't for me. I can't stand wearing make up everyday just to appear pretty on social media, I don't have the guts to be so expressive on my Instagram. Yes, I do share pictures, all the good ones, on my Instagram, for fun! But I never think much on what to wear, which brands should I promote today, how to make my instastories appear to be more interesting everyday. I don't have to think about what will appear on the news prior to my posts, cause people couldn't care less about me. I'm comfortable with that life. I fear judgement, I hate confronting people, I'm not always good with arguments and most importantly I do not know how to impress people.

I can't stand glamorous life, because I hate doing things for the sake of keeping up with the social norms. I like being me, I like it when I go to restaurants, I can order anything I want, eat with anyone I want and I can choose my life story according to what I like.

I think the worst part about glamorous life is to have people worshipping you, or people who don't see anything good in you. I don't like complements as much as I don't like criticisms. Complements hardly keep me grounded and criticisms act like a wall of insecurities. 

Dear older and wiser Aliah,

you will thank your younger self for choosing to live a normal life. Sticking to your goal to be an engineer and having your own business empire in the future without having to be a public figure are probably the best decisions that you make today 🤗

How do I save money?

I don't. Well, I do allocate budgets for stuff like traveling and future etc. But I personally don't think I'm the best money saver on earth.

I spend on stuff I like, I avoid eating out during my semester days. I won't spend on clothes unless it's Hari Raya. I buy good quality stuff, so I don't have to keep buying them. For example, I received iPhone5 when I was 18 and I only bought a new one recently because my iPhone didn't have any hope to continue its life anymore (after 3 times changing the battery).
I love dUCks, so I'm only spending my money on them. I don't buy makeups from Sephora, high end products are not for me, I buy things I can afford.

I guess, the rule of thumb is to spend on things according to your budget. But my life principle is, I can't stand stingy people, I won't be a calculative person too! 

I don't mind paying for others' food, I love cooking and invite people to come over to eat what I cook. I love spending on my parents and siblings. I think when I treat my parents well, make them happy, pamper them with gifts, just like how they treated me, Allah makes it easier for me, financially. Sometimes, I don't receive my allowance on time, but Alhamdulillah, I still survive. I keep holding to this principle; you never loss anything by being generous.

Give charity, appreciate what you have, money problem won't be part of your life. 

Why do I like the brand, dUCk?

The first time I bought duck was last year on my 21st birthday, just to reward myself lol. 

I know I can purchase the same quality of scarves at cheaper price. Duck is an expensive brand, I wouldn't be able to purchase it if I didn't study abroad. 

But I love the story behind this brand. The friendship, sisterhood and mysterious D, the character behind this brand. 

I look up to Vivy Yusof, I admire her fashion sense, her business ideas, her family and love life. To show my support and respect for her, I buy her products. It's similar to when you love any music band or singer, you support them by going to their concerts, buying their albums or merchandises. 

I never bought limited edition dUCks on my own, the worldmap ducks I have were given to me as gifts. I didn't buy any because I can't afford it. I am being perfectly honest here.

That one little thing that I love about dUCk is how Vivy's friends are very supportive of each other. The AVA (Asma', Vivy and Ajjrina). They support Vivy's dUCk business just like how they want their business to prosper. 

I strongly believe that a businessman/woman can be successful by having good 
Knowledge, Attitude and Networking (KAN). Thanks dad for teaching me this.

These three things are crucial, but I still need to work on each one of them.

But that one aspect that I'm totally bad at is networking. 

I don't know how to build networking because I can be an extrovert but I don't know how to keep in touch. Most importantly, I have trust issues. Or maybe I read networking as friendship. Cause I don't have my friends, but I know many people. And one thing for sure, I don't like being a hypocrite. So I don't know how to pretend like I care when I don't. If I care, I care. If I don't, I will leave. I won't waste my time treating you like a VIP. 

Am I too frank? Lol. I'm not sorry for that.

Anyway, buying dUCk gives me hope that true friendships exist, but I haven't found the right one, just yet ☺️