An Eye-Opening Dinner


I had two quizzes yesterday, 
EMF and circuits and gosh
I feel like I'm really far behind in my circuit class!
I need to catch up!!!

This semester, I just have to get better results,
I just have to.

Back to the main story;
so last two weeks, my friend, S invited me to have a dinner at an Iranian restaurant 
but I couldn't make it cause I had two midterms the week after;
so I went to have dinner with her and three other good friends of mine there yesterday.

We're having such a lovely conversation;
about love story, marriage life, the kind of life we are wishing for etc,
very productive.

Then this friend was telling us
her story about her migration to Canada
and how it changed her perspective about Islam.

I don't remember every word she said though
cause we talked about so many stuff,
but this is what I learned from her.

Living in a Muslim country, 
we can listen to the azan, we see people practising our religion,
no one questions us why are we wearing hijab and why don't we eat pork,
why Muslims are terrorists?

We don't face these kind of questions,
so we tend to be very complaisant, 
we feel very safe.

But once we're living on the other side of the world,
where the people have a completely bad view on Islam,
they hate Muslims so much,
they question the very existence of our religion etc,
we tend to be very triggered. 
We can get so angry when they question us so much.
We tend to feel intimidated by their questions,
they sound so rude that their questions really push us to the corner.

We know our religion but we could be very clueless in finding
the right words to say to them,
cause our words will change their views on our religion,
more or less.

What S told me was very interesting.

We don't have to focus so much on what to answer or how to answer
those who are curious about our religion,
but we have to improve ourselves in becoming a better Muslim on daily basis.
The way we talk, the way we smile, eat, walk, our personality,
we should improve on that.
Because people see Muslims as the image of Islam as a whole.
Our failure in representing what Islam really is 
makes people think differently about Islam.

Words are not enough to convince them
how great Islam is,
but our action can somehow change their perspective.


These days I befriend with a lot of non-Muslims
and I hangout with them, study with them
and in some ways it helps breaking stereotypes that they have towards Muslim girls
(hijabists specifically).

They're very surprised to know that I'm here in McGill under scholarship,
I study engineering and I'm gonna serve back the company that sponsors me for 7 years
and I share with them about my interest in photography and dancing
and the fact that I can't be a model cause I'm short really cracks them up.

They're surprised to see 
how women in hijab can also pursue our dreams,
we can achieve what we want 
and the hijab that we put on never stops us from defining ourselves,
in fact, hijab is part of our identity and we should be proud of it :)


The weather is mourning


The sky was grey, as if it was mourning after something.
I woke up from a very deep sleep, I didn't hear anything last night,
it was such a beautiful sleep, the sleep I've been waiting for.

I checked my phone, just to double check the date and time.

It felt like I had been sleeping forever.

30 missed calls, some voicemails, 50 text messages.

What happened?

I was so confused.

I didn't have any important thing today,
why?

Curious, confused.


Why?

The missed calls, voicemails, text messages were all from him.

'Is he in trouble?'

I returned his call, he didn't pick up.

I hope he's fine.

He called me back, 
in a very worried tone, he asked,
'Are you okay?'

'Yes, why? Are you okay?'

He's worried.
Because no matter how tired I was, 
I would still answer the phone and tell him I need more sleep.
I never ignored phone calls before.

This time, his messages were unseen, his phone calls weren't answered.
My last post on instagram last night was about how goodbyes are hard,
the last thing I told him last night -- I miss him so much that I feel like crying.
He's more worried.

I understand.
He's scared, worried if anything bad ever happened to me.

If I were him, I would feel the same too.

But if I were in trouble,
please let everyone that I love knows 
to always always keep me in his/her prayer.
And let them know that
I love them so much <3






It's complicated.



As clichè as it sounds, all relationships are complicated. And for the past 9 years, during my high school and college phases, I've witnessed so many unique relationship stories that happened around me (well including me lol). They're all ranging from every category that can be listed on the relationship spectrum. Some relationships last from high school till now, some just do not work out. Who is to blame and who is to be blamed? What could have been done and what is my opinion about it?

Category I

Est in 20__ till forever



Bravos for keeping the relationship strong, but I'm pretty sure there're so many ups and downs and dramas happening in between. May your relationships last forever.

Category II

It could've been better....


Long story short, in a nutshell lol, this category needs a lot of explanation but I will give my honest opinion on this. Most of the times, the only major problem that arises in this kind of relationship is communication loss. Speaking as someone who truly believes in the power of communication,
I guess every relationship can be saved if the two people involved could actually talk about their feelings. Ignoring your feelings and hoping that things will get better only make things worse. I don't blame people who choose to keep everything to themselves though cause I cannot expect all human beings to be as outspoken and direct as others. But having heart-to-heart conversation usually works, if you talk about that problem earlier. However, to have the heart-to-heart conversation when the relationship is already at the stake may lead to the the ending of it. I do not say it's bad; I just think if you wanna save the relationship, you have to do it as soon as you see some bad things are coming their ways.
But one should not blame others. If you know something is wrong between two of you, you have to start addressing it. Again, relationship needs a two-way communication. Assumption is definitely not a good thing, so talk about your problems!
Oh and the most important thing is not to share your problems with people of the opposite genders, if you don't know how to control your emotion. Lol, honestly as a friend, yes you can advise your opposite gendered friends but you as the 'advisor' too must know your limit and advise on the right things. Cause most of the time when you start sharing your problems with friends of the opposite gender, you kinda get attracted to that person and in the end, the 'it could've been better' becomes 'maybe she/he (the advisor) can be a better half'. So hm, no. Communicate with your partner first!
If you do not have the courage to do so now, you will have trouble when you're living together with your partner in the future!

Category III

We aren't on the same page anymore...


Again, communication can help solving this. Secondly, if you feel like having common interest is so important in the first place, try finding someone that have the same interest as you or someone that you can share your interest with. You don't need to have so many similarities with your partner to have a good relationship; finding someone whom you can share your interest with is more important.
An easy way to portray is to know that not all athletes end up with athletes cause some of them end up with cheerleaders :)
I really do not know the best English idiom for this, but the Malay idiom is "enggang sama enggang, pipit sama pipit" -- it means in finding a friend/partner, you shall know where you do you stand (social class you're in).
It's really up to you, it's your ultimate personal choice.
your love against the world vs your happiness?

This is my personal opinion.
If I were completely in love with someone, but his family doesn't accept the way I am regardless of any reason; ie I may not be from the same social class, his son could have found someone better, prettier, smarter; I will definitely walk away. I love him, but I know I won't be happy in the end cause it's not him the only one that I will marry with, it's his whole family.
It's fair for him, cause he should know, that if I were to stay, he would always be stuck between his family and me and this will not lead to happiness but sadness, to both of us.

(secretly hoping my future in-law will accept me)

So, if you think the relationship you're currently in now cannot grow, will not make you happy, leave.
You may hurt the other person, but giving false hope will hurt him/her more.

Category IV

My girlfriend is not as pretty as this girl....


When you start comparing the girl you have with the girl you think you can have;
you should just walk away from the relationship cause honestly, your girlfriend now deserves someone who is waaaaaaaaay better than you, someone who will appreciate her more and love her unconditionally. Thank you for your service, please leave.
(You don't want me to get going, cause I'll be on fire!)


Conclusion;

One thing that I learned from the Jumu'ah Khutbah last friday was;
the only dependent relationship that a person should have is with God. 
You can only depend on God, not anyone else.
The moment you have dependent relationship with other human, you're in trouble cause people may leave or die or they cannot give you everything and anything you want, only God can.
Independent relationship on the other hand, is not the best kind of relationship as well, cause if both of you are totally independent, you will not see the point of having that relationship. I know a married couple who lived together, but the wife never cooked for the husband, they bought their own food, the husband never drove the wife to buy her stuff cause the wife could drive herself around, they're completely independent of each other and that marriage sadly ended after 2 years; they're living more like roommates rather than married couple.
The most ideal kind of relationship is interdependent relationship. This is the relationship when two people have close personal relationship, they live together (in Islam, this can happen after getting married), both provide the other with financial support, personal care; they complete each other. This is the kind of relationship that we should have.


When someone mentioned about Sharia Law to me


I learned this in high school.
Sharia Law,
sharia means law. It's an Arabic term.

But I do not have enough knowledge to correctly answer
non-Muslims question about this.
My bad.

I really need to study this stuff.

But all I know
sharia law covers a lot of different aspects in life,
it's a guide to live a good life on this world.


As a Muslim,
I believe that the world is just a transition phase before 
the Judgement Day and the life after that (akhirat).

Humans are created by God,
in a very unique way,
no human is the same.

Thus, to help humans living in this world,
peacefully, God gives us guidance.

He sent us the prophets and the holy scripts;
Muslims believe that the last prophet is Muhammad SAW and 
the holy script that Muslims should all believe in is the Holy Quran.

In the Quran,
there're many verses that can be used to guide us everyday
however, some verses need deeper interpretation and should be supported by Hadiths 
and the meaning cannot be interpreted by just one single line.
Therefore, there's a special field that we can venture, The Study of Quran.

Back to Sharia Law,
some of the aspects that are covered by this law
are hygiene and purification, economic law, dietary law,
theological obligation, marital jurisprudence, customs, rituals,
dress code and about non-muslim status.

People always argue how Sharia Law is so violent by referring to 
the death penalty and all other punishments
and they often confuse about customs and traditions vs religions.

Not all Arabs are Muslims!
It's true! 
This has been a fact since the Age of Prophet Muhammad,
thus we cannot judge the Sharia Law just based on the laws carried out by the Arab countries.

Often, people will backfire Sharia Law 
for its punishments.  
But for one sec, can you please read through all of the articles related to Sharia Law
and really understand the point of having this law as a human guidance?

For example,
Muslims have to pay zakat, it's an obligation, to help the poor.
It's equivalent US Social Security or UK National Insurance.
The law recognizes private and community properties and it guides us how to 
carry out our social obligation well.

Based on Sharia Law as well,
in the context of Islamic Military Jurisprudence,
during war,
it's is forbidden to kill women and children,
it's forbidden to fight those who are mentally and physically disabled,
harming civilian areas are also forbidden,
Muslims must make proper declaration of war prior to the commencement of military operations. 
Thus, surprise attacks are illegal under the Islamic jurisprudence. 


There're so many pros of Sharia Law that people tend to overlook,
but I don't blame them for not knowing those facts,
we need to tell them,
we need to explain to them.

As stated above and I want to make this crystal clear;
I am really not an expert in Sharia Law,
I can only share what I know by heart.
I have to learn more about my religion
and improve myself.

I am sharing this to help some people
who are as confused as I was before.

I used to think that non-muslims are all bad people,
but it's a completely wrong fact
cause a religion doesn't determine someone's level of kindness.
Religious practices may help humans in some ways and it's too complicate
to explain about the correlation between religions and humans' behaviour.

So, 
there're good Muslims too out there!
Don't just assume all Muslims are terrorist :)

Be kind. To every human being.
You leave nothing but happiness in yourself :)



Do it right.


Complaining about how a person doesn't pray
doesn't make you any better.

I've heard enough of complaints, 
hatred speeches, 
towards people who don't physically practice their faith;
ie do not pray/fast etc.

I know those are bigs sins, for sure.
We all know that.

But saying
"tu la kau, tak sembahyang"
or
"at least aku sembahyang, bukan macam kau"
is also committing another sin;
being arrogant.

Before you talk bad about others,
reflect your action first.
If your intention is to correct them,
do it in a right way.

Some choose not to practice their faith because 
they haven't done that for so long and they feel guilty, 
so they just do not know where to start.
Or, at times they feel like their sinful acts won't be forgiven, 
thus they just erase their thoughts to repent.

Therefore,
if we ever wanna advise someone and to encourage someone to 
practice their faith,
we have to do it right.

Complaining, talking bad about them, belittling them for 
not doing the right thing would only push them away from the right path
and we all do not want to be sinful for that.

Guide with kindness,
it doesn't harm you anyway.

#selfreminder

I could have never been happier?


Remember my blog post when I was in my first year?
I was too depressed cause I had no friend lol
I always thought of people refusing to befriend me just because 
I'm a hijabist lol

I'm still unsure though,
is Islamophobia in McGill real?

Okay yeah whatevs, cause I really do not care about what people think of me haha

So for the past months, I have been secretly finding ways to make myself happier
after some Islamophobia attack (I've been attacked twice but yeah idc anymore)

To make myself happier...
1. I eat whenever I'm hungry, regardless of time.
I even eat at 11pm lol,
I've stated before, I want to make myself happier not healthier lol!



2. I eat loadssss of chocolate you have no idea!
I once brought 10 kitkat bars to class and this dude even told his friend he felt like stealing one bar from me!



3. I listen to songs that I loveeeeee (but I hardly dance though, cause I spend most of times in the library now, just because I need to study harder lol)



4. If making new friends make me feel happier, I would randomly talk to my classmates (that I never talk to before)
But I feel like being alone and saving my words for something else (like nagging lol) I would just stay quiet and do my own thing.



5. I observe people! OMG You have no idea!! I will notice what people wear, what they do in class, what games they play during the lectures, who focus and who sleep in class. I don't judge them, but I feel very entertained. I feel like I'm more to a people person, not a machine person. Yet, I'm pursuing an engineering degree, great!



6. I watch people's instastories!!! OMG people's lives are very interesting and full of ... colors? People are so unique! I just enjoy watching them! Ofc, the one that I will always always
always view first before anyone else is Vivy Yusof's instastories!
So much love for her!
(inspired me in sooo many ways hehe)



7. Have lunch or dinner with friends!!!! Even though at that particular time of the day, I'm friend-less,
Qim will always be there to teman me makan!
(Okay, please read the other way around, I eat while skyping with Qim, then only I find other friends hahahah)



8. I watch my siblings' instatories! As much as I would feel homesick, I just love it!
At least I could witness them growing and becoming the persons they want to be.
@adlinanazamusa_ she really wants to be a youtuber, has been begging me for a new camera. Help me!
(Aiyo, when they want something, they would ask from Kak Long! Kak Long this, Kak Long that, pengsan!)

This is so Ina



Tell me what makes you happier?

Love, Aliah!