As I'm writing this,
I'm writing in tears, in fears.

Oh Allah,
I seek forgiveness from you.

Maybe I've asked You so much,
but You're the Eternal Refuge,
I can ask anything from You
and You will grant my wishes
at the right time, for the best reasons.

Oh Allah,
please grant this wish of mine.

I just need one more chance.




When you google your name...


Ey! I'm not the only one who would randomly google my name, right?
Vivy Yusof does that too!

So, I googled my name : Aliah Nazamusa and Aliah Nazarudin
and wanted to see what images would be shown.

Cause you know,
Google can be your friend, and your worst enemy at times.

But today,
Google got me teared up a little bit,
*need a box of tissues please*
cause it led me to my friends' blogs.

Yessss, my friends used to blog a lot during our high school years
and I went through every single of them.

My old blog is totally of a different genre than this new one,
I used to sound so emotional, like the 90s emo kids,
I used to blog about this heartbroken that wasn't really heartbreaking enough
cause I just sounded so dramatic, well, I'm still a drama queen but before I was
the Queen, get it?

My friends' blogs were all about high school memories,
sleepovers that I was invited but I didn't join because of 
geographical factor lol.

And Hannah's post led me to this post of mine :

OMG!

I didn't remember writing this post at all!

Oh yeah, I did sound very-very-very optimistic too,
cause I knew nothing about reality, lol.

Tbh, it's good to have dreams, big dreams.
As cliche as it sounds,
we just have to shoot for the moon,
even if you misses it you will land among the stars.

(Oh well, stars are further than moon but let's not argue about that)

I dream big.
And some would tell me my dreams are impossible.

I know,
they're impossible if I don't put enough effort to reach them.

Even though nowadays the reality slaps me real hard,
I still have dreams.

I realized not all my dreams came true,
I dreamed on going to Oxford in 2011,
but late 2012 I wished to study in Texas A&M
but Allah plans something more for me,
2013 I got scholarship and got to pursue my study in McGill University, Canada.

(Apparently, it's one of the top unis here, they call it Harvard of Canada)

I didn't know McGill was that good,
 but it's as good as Oxford and Texas A&M
and God places me here
because He knows maybe I can adapt here better.

When Allah takes away something from you,
it's because He will replace it with something better.

Final exam is in 10 days,
pray for me.

I will tell you more things that happen to me later!


As for now,
keep dreaming,
keep striving.
May Allah guide us all!