Why Fattah Amin?

This is so funny, cause I never liked any Malay celebrity before. Well, in my entire life I fancy less than 5 male celebrities. My first celebrity crush was Skandar Keynes, from The Chronicles of Narnia. I used to send postcard to him and I received a postcard with his signature and I forgot where I placed it hahah! 

Next, I had a crush on Shahid Kapoor, I watched his movie, Milenge Milenge, everyday for 30 days and I never missed a single day of that lol! 

Last year, I had major crush on Siddharth Malhotra and I’ve watched every of his movie. So, basically watching every movie by that one specific actor is considered as having celebrity crush on him because I am not a movie fan, lol!

Ask me the name of any good movies, I can tell you none. My general knowledge on movie is very, very limited. I prefer reading books than watching movies. Movie date is not the best idea, pity Pan for this side of me.

So Fattah Amin happens to be another male celebrity that I like and believe me, I started to watch his drama when he acted with Fazura because my all time favourite actress is always Fazura #fattzura! So, that’s how I like Fattah Amin.

I know many people hate him, dislike his willingness to try everything he wants, from being an actor, to a singer, then a book writer, to an entrepreneur and a brand ambassador. But I admire his attitude for keeping silence when people throw him hatred words, I salute him for letting his success speaks louder than his words. I admire how he prioritizes  his family and he’s too the first child in the family.

I have a thing on successful first child, because I am the first child, grandchild too. I know the pressure of being someone that your siblings should look up to, the responsibility to take care of the family, the reputation etc. Fattah and I, we’re not in the same journey but I guess we both have the same goal for our families.

That’s why I like Fattah Amin, as a celebrity.

It’s true, there’re many other celebrities out there that maybe have to go through tougher hardships compared to Fattah, but I guess for now, his story catches my attention more.

Why am I scared to confront people?

I received this question prior to my blog post yesterday. Well, haha  I’ve made a promise to answer everyone honestly, so I will.

In high school days, I called people confrontation as having a heart-to-heart talk. My batch mates usually would have this conversation whenever there’s misunderstanding or argument within a small group. My debate family used to have this kind of conversation too!

This conversation is indeed very important to solve internal problems and it will keep the relationship healthy. 

But I still do not like this conversation.

If I were not satisfied with someone, I rather kept it to myself. Keeping things to myself in some ways can avoid me from hating that person. Once I’ve told another person about my feeling, I would dislike that person’s attitude even more. Thus, I prefer keeping things to myself.

But sometimes, I did tell  my parents or Pan about how I felt, I can never hide anything from them. But the story would end there. I would not hold my grudge or keep my anger for long.

But if there’s misunderstanding between me and Pan, I would confront him for sure.

When I think about this attitude of mine, it makes me know myself more.

I will confront those whom I wish to keep the relationship for a long term. If I treasure the relationship, I will devote my time, energy and tears to tell that person how I feel about certain issues and why am I sad about all these things etc.

But if the relationship acted just like another phase in my life, I would not take my anger and sadness seriously. Because these feelings shall pass.

To answer the question, I think I’m not scared to confront people, but my decision to confront people depends on how I feel about them.

Can I say ‘no’?

I surely can! However, I would try as much as I could, to help someone in need before giving up that favour. I am terrible at giving excuses, and I hate excuses. So if I can’t attend a meeting, or I really can’t help someone due to time and energy constraint, I will say no. 

Maybe you won’t hear that ‘no’ physically, but you’ll get what I mean (obviously if your common sense level is at the normal bar).

But studying abroad makes me realize that not everyone is as polite as the Malaysians are expected to be. Students of other nationalities are very outspoken, they’re very blunt in their words. So, as much as I feel saying no would appear as something rude, I need to adapt to this surrounding. Well, it hurts to have your ideas being turned down as easy as that. So, I guess it’s okay for me to put my priority straight and say no to them too!

It’s tiring to be in a one-sided relationship, where you always lower your ego, asking people to free their schedules because you want to have a cup of coffee with them, but they never try their best to spend even their 30 seconds with you.

But maybe I once did the same thing to others, now people are doing that to me. But hey, you can’t get everything you want at the same time. C’est la vie!

So, I’m saying no if I really can’t fulfill your orders, I hope you can understand me as much as I understand your excuses too :)

My Opinion on “Perempuan Belajar Tinggi-Tinggi, Akhirnya Masuk Dapur Jugak”

This statement means, regardless of your level of education, a woman will always belong to the kitchen.

Some people think this statement is so outdated as educated women now are able to hire helpers, so kitchen is never a place where they belong.

I believe that women need to be educated. Everyone has the right to get education. Education is one the mediums to gain knowledge. We must gain as much knowledge as we want. It doesn’t mean you need to get a physical certificate on something to be acknowledged as educated. Sometimes, you learn better through experience too.

Back to the statement of “women belong to the kitchen”, I never interpret it as literally cooking in the kitchen.

It can also mean, you will be a mother one day and you will prepare meals for your husband and kids etc.

Well, I don’t think hiring a helper is wrong and being a housewife after receiving PhD is never wrong too. It goes back to your personal preference.

Many successful women out there are wearing many hats at once; they're entrepreneurs by days, nurses, chefs, teachers, maids by nights. Most importantly, they're wonder women whom we called 'mom'.  

As for me, regardless of my level of education, I wish to get married, be a mom of four beautiful children, prepare meal for them and at the same time, be there whenever they need me, teach them how to read ABCs at night, take them to parks on weekend, and I  also hope I’m able to generate my own income, for me to be prepared for any uncertainties in the future.

I will belong to the kitchen, but because of the bachelor degree that I have, I will also own a house with 5 bedrooms, kitchen, laundry room, closet rooms and a basketball court, insyaAllah.

Is glamorous life for me?

Some people aim to be famous, or well-known for certain things. In this era, people can easily gain the world's attention. If you dare to do anything, regardless of how weird those things can be, you will get all the attentions you want. I used to have long, chatty videos on my youtube channel but I stopped halfway (after being teased for what I did lol). I never intended calling myself a vlogger even though I enjoy editing videos of my trips. My number of subscribers is too small to claim myself as a youtuber. The number of my blog readers isn't great enough to call myself a blogger. 

All I know is, glamorous life isn't for me. I can't stand wearing make up everyday just to appear pretty on social media, I don't have the guts to be so expressive on my Instagram. Yes, I do share pictures, all the good ones, on my Instagram, for fun! But I never think much on what to wear, which brands should I promote today, how to make my instastories appear to be more interesting everyday. I don't have to think about what will appear on the news prior to my posts, cause people couldn't care less about me. I'm comfortable with that life. I fear judgement, I hate confronting people, I'm not always good with arguments and most importantly I do not know how to impress people.

I can't stand glamorous life, because I hate doing things for the sake of keeping up with the social norms. I like being me, I like it when I go to restaurants, I can order anything I want, eat with anyone I want and I can choose my life story according to what I like.

I think the worst part about glamorous life is to have people worshipping you, or people who don't see anything good in you. I don't like complements as much as I don't like criticisms. Complements hardly keep me grounded and criticisms act like a wall of insecurities. 

Dear older and wiser Aliah,

you will thank your younger self for choosing to live a normal life. Sticking to your goal to be an engineer and having your own business empire in the future without having to be a public figure are probably the best decisions that you make today 🤗

How do I save money?

I don't. Well, I do allocate budgets for stuff like traveling and future etc. But I personally don't think I'm the best money saver on earth.

I spend on stuff I like, I avoid eating out during my semester days. I won't spend on clothes unless it's Hari Raya. I buy good quality stuff, so I don't have to keep buying them. For example, I received iPhone5 when I was 18 and I only bought a new one recently because my iPhone didn't have any hope to continue its life anymore (after 3 times changing the battery).

I love dUCks, so I'm only spending my money on them. I don't buy makeups from Sephora, high end products are not for me, I buy things I can afford.

I guess, the rule of thumb is to spend on things according to your budget. But my life principle is, I can't stand stingy people, I won't be a calculative person too! 

I don't mind paying for others' food, I love cooking and invite people to come over to eat what I cook. I love spending on my parents and siblings. I think when I treat my parents well, make them happy, pamper them with gifts, just like how they treated me, Allah makes it easier for me, financially. Sometimes, I don't receive my allowance on time, but Alhamdulillah, I still survive. I keep holding to this principle; you never loss anything by being generous.

Give charity, appreciate what you have, money problem won't be part of your life. 

Why do I like the brand, dUCk?

The first time I bought duck was last year on my 21st birthday, just to reward myself lol. 

I know I can purchase the same quality of scarves at cheaper price. Duck is an expensive brand, I wouldn't be able to purchase it if I didn't study abroad. 

But I love the story behind this brand. The friendship, sisterhood and mysterious D, the character behind this brand. 

I look up to Vivy Yusof, I admire her fashion sense, her business ideas, her family and love life. To show my support and respect for her, I buy her products. It's similar to when you love any music band or singer, you support them by going to their concerts, buying their albums or merchandises. 

I never bought limited edition dUCks on my own, the worldmap ducks I have were given to me as gifts. I didn't buy any because I can't afford it. I am being perfectly honest here.

That one little thing that I love about dUCk is how Vivy's friends are very supportive of each other. The AVA (Asma', Vivy and Ajjrina). They support Vivy's dUCk business just like how they want their business to prosper. 

I strongly believe that a businessman/woman can be successful by having good 

Knowledge, Attitude and Networking (KAN). Thanks dad for teaching me this.

These three things are crucial, but I still need to work on each one of them.

But that one aspect that I'm totally bad at is networking. 

I don't know how to build networking because I can be an extrovert but I don't know how to keep in touch. Most importantly, I have trust issues. Or maybe I read networking as friendship. Cause I don't have my friends, but I know many people. And one thing for sure, I don't like being a hypocrite. So I don't know how to pretend like I care when I don't. If I care, I care. If I don't, I will leave. I won't waste my time treating you like a VIP. 

Am I too frank? Lol. I'm not sorry for that.

Anyway, buying dUCk gives me hope that true friendships exist, but I haven't found the right one, just yet ☺️

Why I started blogging

I wanted to be a poet. Reading poems is a thing that I really enjoy doing because I love beautiful, meaningful words. Poems are used to express feelings in an elegant way, at least that’s how I feel about it. But I don’t study linguistics or literatures, so the technical part of my writings is a bit off. Well, as you can read here on my blog. Lol.

I wanted to be a writer, I once submitted my ‘essay’ or ‘short story’ to a book publisher and the company called me to continue writing as I will be guided by professionals etc, but I didn’t continue because I was so busy with school stuff.

I have more than 30 pieces of diaries/journals that I’ve collected since I was 8. I enjoy writing so much, but I never aim to improve on it, because I do this for the sake of my interest. Purely for my interest, nothing more.

I still write, manually. Literally writing down my thoughts on papers, but I feel like blogging is a bit handy these days.

Even in my diaries, I never write personal, private stuff. I like writing things generally. Because I hate leaving evidences behind, you know lol. It’s better to keep personal stuff in my heart or share it with people I love. I prefer this way.

My high school friends read my diaries, I had no problem with that. I even allowed them to do so because there’s nothing to hide. I used metaphors and analogies in my wiritings and talked about stuff as general as possible.

If things were meant to be shared, I would blog about them. I do not expect people to read my blog, I do not crave for loyal followers or more followers, no. I blog because I know I’m gonna reread my posts again. The posts are meant for my children, grandchildren, for them to know a little piece of me.

With these thoughts in mind, I started blogging, I still do and I enjoy doing it!

10 Instagram Profiles That I Secretly Stalk

#notaccordingtoorder

• My favourite girl of all, @vivyyusof

• I love her lifestyle, family life and her brand, dUCk. My day won't be complete without checking out her instastories.

• @kekandco

• I love their designs and I wish I can have them as my wedding cake designer.

• @throughmywickedlenses

• His traveling pictures are the best! His photography skills are just on point. I wish I could own a Canon 6D now!

• @sdidonato

• He shoots most of his pictures using iPhone 6s. He’s from Montreal, his views of Montreal is different than any other instagram profiles.

• @designlovefest

• She’s a creative director, product designer, blogger and travel addict. One of my dreams is to be a designer, but I am not creative. So her instagram profile inspires me to be a step closer to my dream.

• @idamahmoudi

• She’s a McGill graduate, currently studying at Law School at Ottawa. I know her from McMUN and SSUNS. She’s beauty with brain.

• @anidriamin

• Kak Irdina is two years older than me, she’s too from SSP. She just graduated from UM, she’s now a doctor. Her captions always make me ponder. 

• @dangerousatanyspeed

• Her poses in all her pictures are catchy and she’s not a typical portrait photography.

• @mariescholtz

• She’s a blogger from Canada, I think she’s from Montreal because at times she posted pictures of the city

• @melodymilikqa

• She’s a keen traveler, she’s Pan’s sister. I love her lifestyle, she travels, sails and does horse riding during her past times, she's a lawyer. She's too, the definition of beauty with brain.

10 things you probably don’t know about me

1. I'm allergic to air conditioner

       I have a pretty bad sinus problem, so I prefer sleeping with the fan on, not the non-authentic air chiller. Canada weather is perfectly fine but not air conditioned space. I would catch a cold if I stayed in an air conditioned room for more than 2 hours, HELP! This applies to airplanes as well, so before the flight takes off, I will make sure the aircond is turned off!  

  

 

2. I love sleeping with my hair tied

       I prefer curly or wavy hair. Thus, I will tie my hair before going to sleep. So, when I'm awake, I can have the kind of hair that I want (as if others can see my hair) *cough* #personalsatisfaction

3. I cannot sleep without Pan's jersey

      Call me crazy but I swear the jersey is so soft and my cheeks need its touch every night lol! At times, I felt like a baby, who would need blanket or pillow to sleep. Gosh, I really can't describe this, but I know those who have bantal busuk would know!

4. I will eat burgers or subways by layers, starting with the breads, I will eat the meat last

      It sounds so childish but I have a strong argument for this behaviour. I have jaw problem, dislocated joint something something. So, I really couldn't open my mouth as big as possible to fit the burgers in. I'm sorry for this disability but hey, you would wanna try this way of eating cause it's fun!

5. I don't mind eating the same meal for everyday in a week, in fact I always do that

     Student life, lol. I will cook two types of dishes that can last for a week, I will eat them everyday, till the last drop of the soup (bad wordings). It really saves my time, energy and money lol!

6. My raya is not complete without a new handbag 😅

     I seriously didn't notice this till this year raya! I have so many handbags, but none of them is the high end one, not a brand conscious kind of girl, heh. As long as the bag piques my interest and matches my outfit, I would grab one. Bag raya lol.

7. I only drink the white vitagen, even yakult cannot complement it!

     Yakult and white Vitagen are totally different! Please say you agree with me!!! Yakult can never beat Vitagen, #vitagenforlife !

8. I probably drink less than 3 glasses of carbonated drinks ie coke or pepsi in my whole life

      You can ask my parents for this! I hate carbonated drinks so much! I can taste them, but I will never order them or finish them if they come in sets when you order food from McD or KFC. I can drink mineral water for the whole month without having any sweet drinks, cause I'm not a sweet tooth hehe.

9. I won't spend more than RM40 on any shirts (but I don't mind spending more on scarves 😂)

      Call me thrifty but I don't like spending so much on shirts. I can tolerate buying expensive baju raya because it's raya after all! But not on normal shirts that you would wear to school or go for a date. I still wear clothes that I bought when I was 12 and they're in perfect conditions. So, expensive outfits are not for me! #futurehusbandissolucky

10. I secretly wanna be an actress in haunted movies, I'm inspired by Maya Karin 👀

       I used to hate my big eyes cause I felt like they looked weird. Small face, big eyes. But as I grow older, and after watching Pontianak Harum Sundal Malam, having big eyes appears as an asset for me, to be an actress. I swear I'm terrible at acting. But acting as a ghost requires less dialogs and the background sound will take care of the rest, so I think I'll be fine. After 10 years, I still have that dream. I think it'll look good on my cv hehe

BOOK REVIEW : TO BE CONTINUED

INTERNSHIP WEEKS : CAN'T GET MY HEAD STRAIGHT

 WILL UPDATE LATER

XOXO

Awkward, Long Day!

Who had bad first impression on her first day of internship? Me, lol!

I’m a YTN scholar, I need to do an internship with my sponsor and my first day was not the best day of my life. I came to intern at TNB Melaka alone and I felt so awkward.

So basically it’s all about wrong timing. I came on the day the auditors from headquarters came, so all the attentions were on the auditors. I felt like shrinking myself into my bag, or at least hiding under the table.

I met my supervisor, she’s a young, woman engineer. She couldn’t explain more on my job scope as an intern because her department would be audited too. The vibe was so tense, everyone wanted to have the best documents etc. I was siting at the corner, praying that time would fly as fast as it could!

I met the clerk, she instructed to take the jacket and helmet from her coworker upstairs, little did I know, there were 100 rooms upstairs. No I’m joking but I swear this petite girl had lost counted the rooms.

Knocking on random doors, asking for the guy who would grant me the jacket and helmet and yes you guess it right, I went to the wrong room.

So when I asked for the direction to the right room, it was fine. Nothing went wrong.

As I approached the right room, there’s a group of engineers having meeting and I had to knock on the door, loudened my voice to meet the person I supposed to meet. 

Basically the feeling was like you needed to be this one senior that you just knew existed, you never saw her face, you only knew her by name and then you met a bunch of seniors and they expected you to know their mothers’ date of birth. Yes, that feeling.

But the person was nice. I got my helmet and jacket, but not the boots. My feet size is 4, and sometimes it’s a 3 and half. I didn’t ask for small feet. 

Poor tok abah, he needed to fork out RM160 for my boots. 

The day felt so long, I couldn’t wait for tomorrow’s adventure. I lied. I was a coward.