"Tok Abah tunggu kakak balik tau?"

I asked him to wait for me,

till I come back to Malaysia,

with a degree from McGill.

He didn't.

He couldn't.

Because God loves him more.

Tok Abah,

my dearest grandfather,

who was deep in pain,

had returned to Him, The Creator,

on March 8, 2018

at 5.10am Malaysia time.

While in Montreal,

it was 4.10pm on March 7, 2018

(it was still his birthday)

The day he turned 71.

I remember his exact reply when 

I told him at the airport last September,

to wait for me to come home.

He smiled.

He said,

only God knows.

Indeed.

Only God knows.

Tok Abah,

it breaks my heart every time I think about

not being able to see you anymore.

I cry every time

I think about your jokes,

about your story,

about the drinking milo,

about eating roti canai.

Because the first roti canai that I remembered

having was made by you,

the best maggi was cooked by you,

and the best joke was told by you.

But I know you're in peace there,

since you've returned to Him.

I'm glad that you're no longer in pain,

Mama and Ayah told me that you looked like

as if you're smiling the last time they saw your face.

I know you're happy.

Kakak will always remember to recite Al-Fatihah for you, okay?

I know you won't be home to wait for me anymore,

but I know you'll always be there waiting for me at the door of Jannah,

insyaAllah.

May we all be reunited in Jannah :)

Kakak sayang tok abah.

Gone, but never forgotten
Hj Musa bin Md Salleh
March 7, 1947 - March 8, 2018